How to Ride Public Transportation in Melbourne:
There is a tram system that runs at street level all over the city, which is great. However, it's not great when you're running through the rain to get to a stop until you realize that it's going the wrong direction because you're in Australia and things drive on the left.
1. Depending on the direction of travel you need to be on either side of a major intersection. This is not intuitive for the American citizen since the Australian vehicle travels on the left side of the street.
2.Once you've figured out which side of the intersection you need to be at, make your way into the middle of the street.
3.Wait by a flimsy rail as cars whiz by you for a tram that is -hopefully- going to open its doors on the side you are standing on.
4. Oh, you need a pass to ride it that you can only get at a few locations around the city? Please start over at Step 1 once you've obtained the aforementioned pass.
5. After you are on, going the correct direction, and have paid your fare; enjoy the ride!
How to Talk About Buildings to Your Sister Who Said "Wow the buildings here are cool":
1. Wait for her to feign interest. This can be anything from prolonged eye contact with a strange or beautiful building to a verbal statement confirming interest.
2. Depending on the mode of interest, there are different tactics once might take to approach the subject.
a. Ask a question. "That building is pretty cool right?"
b. Make an observation that you picked up that they likely did not. "Did you notice how the building has louvers on it to prevent direct sunlight?"
c. Just stop to take a picture. This both forces you and her to stop and contemplate the building further. It may also come in handy when in retrospect, she mentions how cool the buildings in Melbourne were so that you can interrupt with details.
d. Don't say anything and just revel in the fact that she appreciated architecture for a second and be content with that. This is the safest and most recommended approach to avoid conflict.
1. Wait for her to feign interest. This can be anything from prolonged eye contact with a strange or beautiful building to a verbal statement confirming interest.
2. Depending on the mode of interest, there are different tactics once might take to approach the subject.
a. Ask a question. "That building is pretty cool right?"
b. Make an observation that you picked up that they likely did not. "Did you notice how the building has louvers on it to prevent direct sunlight?"
c. Just stop to take a picture. This both forces you and her to stop and contemplate the building further. It may also come in handy when in retrospect, she mentions how cool the buildings in Melbourne were so that you can interrupt with details.
d. Don't say anything and just revel in the fact that she appreciated architecture for a second and be content with that. This is the safest and most recommended approach to avoid conflict.
How to Order a Drink at a Bar with a French Waiter Talking About Spanish Dishes in an Australian Accent:
1. Listen attentively.
2. Nod head and make agreeable noises when appropriate.
3. Make nondescript eye contact with your sister who understands even less of what this man is saying.
4. Smile, pretending that you've understood everything and carefully thought about where you're about to point to something on the menu and say, "We'll just have this please."
1. Listen attentively.
2. Nod head and make agreeable noises when appropriate.
3. Make nondescript eye contact with your sister who understands even less of what this man is saying.
4. Smile, pretending that you've understood everything and carefully thought about where you're about to point to something on the menu and say, "We'll just have this please."
Day Guide:
Ate at: Seven Seeds || Queen Elizabeth Market || Chin Chin
Drank at: Movido Next Door
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